Author: Gates

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Casandra

About the blogger: Casandra is an AFG Shelter resident who is also a college student majoring in the Culinary Arts. She would like to open her own restaurant in the future.

This post is a “Projection Speech” written by Casandra. At the completion of our Transition to Independent Living classes, students in the program are asked to write a Projection Speech in which they imagine what their live will be like in 20 years, and include how they were able to accomplish their goals.

We have our own charity called The Foundation for Neglected Children and another for the homeless. We often give back to the City of Detroit to help children and adults with things they may be struggling with. I started these two foundations because I know that everything isn’t always easy. Coming from these two backgrounds I decided I wanted to try and lend a helping hand to as many people as I could.

It wasn’t a walk in the park getting where I am today. When I was sixteen I became homeless. I had no family or a stable place to go. Moving from house to house I told myself this isn’t ok –I need help. I stayed in a homeless shelter for girls called Alternatives For Girls for two years until I was able to stand on my own two feet. A.F.G. helped me to become an independent woman. They helped mold me into the woman I am today. They became my family when I had no family. I learned that it was okay to accept help from others instead of depending on myself all the time. When I first came to A.F.G., I felt like I had no one and that my life wasn’t worth living. They helped me realize everybody has a purpose.

They helped me enroll in Henry Ford Community College there I got my Bachelor’s Degree in Applied Science of Culinary Arts. I had a hard time in classes with everything going on in my life. I skipped classes, didn’t study. I just didn’t apply myself because my whole life I was told I wouldn’t be anything. Always hearing this I started to believe it. I said why try when I can’t do. I looked at myself like I couldn’t because I believed what other people were telling me. Instead of trying to prove them wrong I settled in the beliefs of others.

When I graduated from high school, I started telling myself I could do not only because I had to but because I knew I had potential and wasn’t living up to my standards.

I knew I was and could do better than what I was doing so I decided it was time to take control of the things I could control. That’s when I started feeling myself slowly changing. That’s when I figured out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I started going to all of my classes getting help if I needed it. I graduated with a 3.8 G.P.A. while in school I learned the cooking and business side of culinary. When my four years were up I graduated and I took out a loan to open my own restaurant. My husband is my business partner, I wanted to be an owner and head chef I knew I couldn’t do it alone; Our business officially opened in 2016 and has been a prospering ever since.

I am here today to tell you if you have something in mind that you want to do don’t look for others to believe in you. You have to know for yourself that you can do it before you expect somebody else to believe in you. You can do whatever you put your mind to.

Posted on December 20, 2011 by Latrina

About the blogger: Latrina is a former AFG Shelter resident who has now been living successfully on her own. She has continued to stay in touch with AFG as she continues to forge a positive life for herself.

I came to Alternatives For Girls because I had an unhealthy relationship with my mother and my father was in and out of jail. My mother would put me out anytime she felt like it; she treated me like I was unwanted and always reminded me I didn’t look pretty and that I would never amount to anything. I was disrespected so badly that my self esteem was extremely low and I turned to men for love.

When I was 20 years old, my mom put me out again, and I had nowhere to go. I stayed in an abandoned house for two weeks. Then I found out about Alternatives For Girls because I had a friend there who was a Peer Educator team leader. She told me how great the program was and that they would help me with everything that I needed.

My case planner, counselor, and resident advisor talked to me and help me get out of the abusive relationship with my boyfriend that I was in. I grew a better relationship with my mother. Alternatives For Girls paid for my certified nursing assistant class and my state exam test, so now I’m state certified to be a nursing assistant.  I also worked at AFG as a youth leader in AFG’s Prevention Program helping young kids with after school activities. In addition, I worked at a hair salon so that I could save up money. I was able to use this money to buy my car.

At Alternatives For Girls, I learned to be more responsible, work hard and become independent. In AFG’s independent living classes, I learned the importance of budgeting money, healthy living, and how to search for stable living environments. Now I know how to save money and spend according to my income. I even opened my own bank account.

After living at AFG for nine months, I moved out and into my own apartment this past August. I am now working as a security guard and just started working in a group home helping the patients there with personal hygiene, taking them to doctors appointments, and more. With my new job, I am able to use my certified nursing assistant license. I feel like I can always call my case planner whenever I need help, and she will always help me with whatever I need. I plan on furthering my education at a community college for 2 years, then going to a university for my Bachelors of Science in Nursing.

Posted on November 22, 2011 by Lance Hicks

About the blogger: Lance Hicks is AFG’s new AmeriCorps AIDS United Team Detroit member. Lance is serving as Safe Choices Program Assistant. Safe Choices works with women on the streets who are involved in commercial sex work, connecting them to resources and helping them to make positive choices.

While it seems everyone around me has begun preparing for another year’s close, the turn of the season feels much more like a beginning than an end, for me. What makes my experience, this year, so different from that of those around me? For starters, this season marks the beginning of my service as a member of AmeriCorps AIDS United Team Detroit.

For those who don’t know the lingo, AmeriCorps is a national organization that places community members alongside agencies and individuals working to provide valuable services to people across the country. There’s a seemingly endless list programs affiliated with AmeriCorps, and AIDS United is one of them. Dedicated to the struggle against HIV, AIDS United places full-time program members in locally-based community agencies, where we can provide hands-on support to those people most affected by the pandemic.

As a life-long Detroiter with a passion for HIV and AIDS advocacy work, joining AIDS United was not a difficult decision for me to make. Being both African American and Transgender—two of the highest-risk demographic populations for HIV/AIDS—this work is personal to me. It’s a struggle I’ve been actively engaged in since my early teens, and I’ve known for years that I needed to find a way to make it a full-time commitment.

As excited as I was about the chance to do HIV/AIDS work full time, I admit I was a little bit nervous. The process of determining the agency that would become my “home base” for the coming year seemed daunting, and I knew that finding the right match would be crucial to my service. The list of potential host agencies was filled with organizations I knew and respected—but it’s one thing to admire from afar, and another to plunge right in. When I was ultimately selected to be the AmeriCorps member at Alternatives for Girls, this head-first dive was exactly what I got. Lucky for me, it turned out to be the perfect fit.

Through the AmeriCorps AIDS United program, I was told I would be placed within the Outreach and Education Services department. In my interview with Safe Choices Manager Alana Gracey, I learned that my role would be to act as the Safe Choices Program Assistant. Although my responsibilities would change from day to day, my primary role would be to provide support for Safe Choices outreach shifts, making connections on the street with women involved in the commercial sex industry; and the New Choices Project, which supports women in achieving their self-identified goal of exiting the commercial sex industry.

Walking in to the building for my first day of work, I had the usual new-job jitters, unsure of what to expect. To my pleasant surprise, the initial butterflies had settled within moments. The first thing that struck me about the OES team was how genuinely warm everyone was. As I moved through my first day, learning about Alternatives for Girls’ history, the ins and outs of the OES department, and getting a head start on my work, each staff member took time out to welcome me to the team.

From those first conversations, I was soon to engage in countless follow-up discussions with co-workers across the department, getting to know everyone individually. When I first started work here, there were more than a few Outreach team members who gently pulled me to the side, checking in to make sure I was feeling comfortable. Department members joked that Outreach and Educational Services is a “very open” environment—a euphemism for the fact that OES tells it like it is. Because our department is dedicated to dealing with issues that most people are afraid to confront—things like the commercial sex industry, drug use, and other stigmatized topics—being frank is how we roll. Ironically, it was the quality my co-workers feared could alienate me from the team that put me most at ease. Since Outreach addresses real issues in the lives of girls and women, knowing that having real conversations is the status quo reassures me that this department is truly doing its job.

Perhaps my favorite thing about the team is how totally unique each member is. As my first days at AFG quickly became my first weeks, the individual personalities of each Outreach staff member became clear. Filled with spunk (and plenty of opinions), the folks who make up AFG’s outreach department know their stuff; but even more important, they never lose sight of the mission that brings us all together. Compassion and drive are important qualities in any workplace—but here, they are essential. The stories our participants tell us, and the experiences they’ve overcome, are often hard to hear; so it takes energy and an earnest investment in the work we do, to avoid burning out. The women and girls we’re here for have entrusted us with a great deal; so if we’re about the business of serving them, we have a duty to earn their respect. I’m happy to say, from the perspective of a newbie, that it seems like the Outreach Program at Alternatives for Girls is committed to doing just that.

Posted on October 25, 2011 by Karrie

About the blogger: Karrie is one of three young women who recently shared their stories at AFG’s “Cultivating Victories” event. She is a graduate of AFG’s Transition to Independent Living Program, and is  about to “graduate” from AFG’s Peer Education Program.

Hello my name is Karrie. I am twenty-one years old. I’m a past resident of the Alternatives For Girls Shelter.

What was life like before I became a participant at Alternatives For Girls? I was a single parent raising my son, moving from house to house after me, my son, my sister and my mother were evicted from our apartment in 2007. We were evicted due to my mother’s drug and gambling addictions. Because of her addictions, she didn’t pay rent. At the time, I was 17 years old. My son and I then went to live with my mother’s friend. Then after a few months, my mother’s friend’s husband decided that I needed to move back in with my mother because I was interfering with his household. When I went back to stay with my mom she was on drugs heavier than I thought. Once again we were evicted because my mother’s drug habit had gotten worst. So we relocated in 2009 for what I hoped to be the last time.

On the day of September 5th, 2009 around 9 pm my world came crashing down. That afternoon my mom, her fiancé Gregory and my son Kartie’r attended Hamtramck Carnival. Within a few hours of the event, Gregory returned to the house without my son. He then told me that he and my mother got into a disagreement about my mother wanting money to get high and that was when he left my son with my mother. I immediately began to walk the streets of Hamtramck in search of my son and my mother. Hours had passed and I was not successful in finding my mother or my son.

I finally arrived at the Hamtramck Police Department to file a missing person report. The police report turned into an amber alert stating that my mother was a substance abuser. My son was returned home to me on September 6th 2009 at 12 pm. My mother returned later that day and told me I had to leave her home because I had embarrassed her to the entire world. That was the day that my heart shattered into a million pieces. That was also the day that my mother showed her true colors and chose her fiancé over me.

I became a resident of Alternatives For Girls on September 8th 2009. I became involved with Alternatives For Girls because I became homeless and I didn’t have anywhere to go. And I knew that I needed to make a better life for my child and myself. Since moving into Alternatives for Girls, I have accomplished many things. At AFG, I was able to learn skills such as budgeting, patience, healthy relationships, STI/STD prevention, how to be a better parent, and being independent.

Almost exactly a year ago, I was able to move out of AFG’s Shelter and into my own apartment. I was blessed with housing for me and my two children Kartie’r and Sa’Nai., I’m currently a Peer Educator team leader for AFG’s Outreach Program, which focuses on homelessness, staying safe in relationships, HIV prevention, healthy relationships, and more. As part of the Youth Street Outreach team, I like being able to go out and communicating with girls about staying safe and trying to get them somewhere safe to stay.

I have also furthered my education. I have obtained a G.E.D, and I am currently enrolled in Henry Ford Community College in Dearborn, Michigan. I’m majoring in Nursing and my minor is Criminal Justice. My son Kartie’r is enrolled in Pre-School at GoLightly Academy. Since being involved with Alternatives For Girls I have learned how to be a better parent to my children, how to cope with anger, to manage money and most of all how to be independent. My plans for the future are to graduate from college, to own my own home, and to found a homeless center with the same priorities as AFG but also accept men and women up until the age of 30. I am thankful for AFG; without them, I don’t know where I’d be right now. Now that I am a Peer Educator, I am proud to be able to help young women who are in situations just like I was in so that they, too, can become independent.

Posted on September 28, 2011 by Neoshua

About the blogger: Neoshua is a resident of AFG’s Shelter. She is currently applying to become a part of AFG’s Transition to Independent Living Program.

This essay was written by a young woman in AFG’s Shelter as part of her application to join our Transition to Independent Living (TIL) Program. If residents of our Shelter need to stay at AFG for longer than two weeks, they must apply to be a part of this program. As part of the TIL program, they learn life skills such as budgeting, healthcare, interviewing skills, and goal setting.

An independent woman understands and works with the world she has been placed in, she glides through with a sense of elegance that exudes from every movement she makes. She is complete and content with her talents; she shares those gifts to help other women blossom who do not realize their capability, beauty, flair, and intelligence. She guides her pupils through her past without shame. She accepts challenges knowing, that they only better her and attempts to get her pupils to appreciate their experiences and not to fall prey of gossip and judgment. What others fail to realize is that independence does not mean being alone, it means being an individual and understanding you are part of the community. She does not run away from her destiny, which is to pass on her grace, to enlighten and show that one should always be of love, not of the world.

I can envision this woman, I see her when I sleep, I see her when I’m eating, and I even consult with her, but I do not follow in her footsteps. See, I care about what others think and I have allowed people to stop me, to distract me, to discourage me, and rearrange me. I mean I would love to be that woman of independence, but I am afraid, I am sadly still of the world, afraid to be a trailblazer, a leader, an individual, because it is so much easier to follow the crowd.

I cannot visualize me becoming her, and that is where Alternative for Girls comes in. Here I see the worst and the best that can happen if I am me. I hear other testimonies, I watch girls facing the same challenges as I, and it helps to know that I am not the only one suffering. It’s good to know that there is still hope even when you are homeless, and that you can rise from it, and that people have risen. I have no reason to feel inferior or pretend my life is perfect, that there are not parts of my world that are chaotic. So instead of attempting to cover up the imperfection I get to talk about the broken factors in my life, I get to speak on the emotions, to take ownership to those emotions, and I get to be freed from them.

My ultimate goal is to own recreation centers all across the country in low-income areas. I want children who have suffered as I did to have an escape from the entrapment of their daily lives. The children will understand that their obstacles do not mean that they cannot be successful. Knowledge is the key to prosperity and happiness, so if I can broaden a child’s view on the world, embrace their creativity, show them love, and structure, my job will be done. Right now though I would like to get my Master’s in English at Wayne State University and then get a JD in Corporate Law.

August 23, 2011 by Diona Roberson

About the blogger: Diona Roberson has worked at Alternatives For Girls for several years. In her current position as Young Women Changing Communities Advisor, she works with young women in southwest Detroit on leadership training, community service, and getting more youth onto nonprofit boards of directors. Diona first became involved with AFG in 1990 as a part of AFG’s Prevention program.

Giggles, chatter, songs and smiles are bursting out of the seams of Alternatives For Girls, which can only mean one thing… Rise N Shine is underway. The summer day camp filled with arts, sports and educational fundamentals gives girls ages four to 12 a chance to have fun, make new friends and enjoy the summer with us.

During Rise N Shine we’re all about fun and games with a side of field trips! This summer we’ve consumed several wave pools, museums, and even a bowling alley, all while learning the value of sisterhood, the need for creativity and the importance of education. Rise N Shine has only gotten bigger and better since my days as a youth leader with the program, I enjoyed getting hugs each morning from lots of the over 60 girls who participated this year.

We’ve learned that Mother Nature can be relentless, be it sweltering heat or a torrential downpour and that planning ahead is never a bad Idea. We’ve learned to give ourselves a little more credit and believe that there is awesomeness inside all of us.  Lastly we’ve learned that we can depend on each other and that it’s okay to need and ask for help.

During this summer we learned a lot about ourselves. Some of us grew up a little bit, while others got a chance to be a kid again. I learned that the compassion I have in my heart for our participants is limitless.  And through it all we grew closer, wiser and stronger. The Prevention Department’s Rise N Shine summer camp is designed to give girls in southwest Detroit a chance at creating childhood memories and boy did it do just that!